Why can’t adults act like mature people when it comes to conversation? When itcomes to dealing with other people and their problems with us, or the problems we have with them, why can’t we seem to come to an amicable resolution?
Men and women turn into over sensitive, everything is about me, my feelings are the only ones that count vessels of shame. We turn into grown-up tantrums of ill words, painful verbs that bring pain, and fear to action and verbal jabs to life.
How I feel. What I think. What I believe! Versus, you did this and you weren’t that. Echo’s of I wanted this, but you didn’t do what I “expected”. There is the classic talk about what you didn’t do for “ME”.
The reality to this and other conversations similar to this one is simple. The parties involved usually do not look to pray about the situation and themselves. We too often want to throw verbal jabs to knock out the other person before we extend out any more pain or suffering.
Secondly, we fail to realize that 99.9% of the time the things we say we are “missing” are actually the main things that are right in front of our eyes! The problem is that we are too busy looking at the illusion of how we feel things should look. Too often we look to solve the other person’s problems without first looking at ourselves and seeking the missing links to our faults.
Why do I have an attitude? If I am in the wrong do I look to God to make it right, or look into myself on how “eyes” can solve it? Do I blame you so I can soften the blows my ego may take? Can I accept if I am in the wrong, and if so, can I talk about it?
A lot of times we reason that we are in an argument to get our point across. In the midst of it all, we lose our point just to be right! We have to remember, if you are in a spat with someone who means something to you, you have to understand they can see a chink in your armor which might be a strong spot for them.
Sometimes people talk to us from a place of evaluated experience. If we have not experienced it then we have no place of a “valued experience”. Whether the experience is positive or negative determines how we see our own information.
In situations when communicating with people you care about you must be honest yet sympathetic.
Don’t be the “yes man” in their life!
Stand up and be the genuine article you need to be and want people read! Tell people what they need to know! Something may not be working that may be damaging the relationship!
If they have something to impart back in response, hear them out.
Allow them to speak how they see it. Their view might be cloudy, or might be the only truth they know. Once you see their perspective you can see how you can relate or how you can be of friendly service.
Help the person you Love, but help by being truthful with the truth. It starts with meeting them on the level they are at, and asking them where they want to be.
We are all imperfect, yet we can be the perfect help at the perfect time to the right person who needs to hear a real word in their life.