Monthly Archives: January 2011

Whose Fault

Whose fault? It’s my fault for giving into you freely. I gave sacred words reserved for love. I spent my last to make it last with you. You spent my presence as the present of your past. I relived their moments. My character was cast. 

I can’t blame you because I saw me. Too bad I was busy refining the person in front of me. I wanted to see you be all that I requested of me.

I lost me.

Escaping my dream, I wrapped up in pleasing the lust and passion. The lack of self-esteem. I entangled my heart to lose. 

I want to blame you but that would be pious of me. Blame lies with me.

My pride allows me to hide when you question me. Your voice of judgement cannot soothe me. I admit, I cannot point the finger when the hypocrite lies in me.  I realize I am the epitome when I care not what you think. 

When you met me you appreciated what you saw. Why did I change to become a man so lost? So long; ago I knew how a man should act. Now I lay in the ruins of what was. It’s not a nightmare, but it ain’t a daydream.

I want bitterness. I bite my lip, my mouth quivers. Tears fall from my face and I ask why? I didn’t evolve into me, I fell in love with you. Being myself wasn’t enough love for you.

I changed to fall in love with you.

I wanted to disprove the spell they left on you.

I lose.

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Control

I’m afraid to give my all because I cannot control your heart.

The emotions that ensue will create my mistakes.

I may disappoint you.

I want to love you,

yet you play me like the last fool.

You never met my past, yet I move past my old views.

I divided what I learned to leave the remainder of negativity.

You look at me as a reminder of who lied to those eyes.

I surmised they left you hurt inside.

A forgotten promise?

A broken dream?

You are shattering my heart!

What about me?

What about our dreams?

This relationship can’t mean much.

You’re in lust with me and in love with the complains of what might have been.

You never gave me a chance.

Romancing the past you woke up in the nightmare of me.

I just wanted to build our daydream.

Love in Harmony

Allow the music to dim the low scene of your mind.

Unwind.

Relax.

Harmony speaks when you flow with the melody.

Agreement makes way for devotion and understanding. This symphony is not demanding!

We are in tune when we conduct our unspoken commandments. I love you is the discipline.  I vow to listen to the eloquence you speak. It matches the sound of my heart.

I allow your voice to follow the beat. Your drum matches the baseline. You met my ear for love. Our music was produced by God, above.

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More Than Words

Love is misused and words get misconstrued. Some use love as charity.  A license to paint the appearance of committment. Love defined how you felt.

It explains the depth of devotion you give to an object of affection. Love taints with the selfish illustrations of fantasies paint.

It undressed the emotional walls.

Once emotions fall, lust is an open free for all. Love is lost and blame sets like a stain. Love gets blamed for why I can’t remember my name. I blame my kindness, but flesh is the weakness. Layers of my self-respect peel away as you eat at my emotions.

Your beautiful fragrance, mixed with the aroma of your emotions, an elixir of confusion. I lost when I believed love was you.

It was lust.

That feeling was you leaving, and I arrived at this conclusion…

Did love stay?

Hidden Agenda

Some people lie but they aren’t too shame. Some lie for a name. Some hide in church to look alive. Leaving the grounds to plant seeds of a different name. Some hide to show the face of their name. 

Some hide in front of you to hide your shame. Some hide behind a mask that cannot be loosed. Sometimes the mask really is just who they are to you. Sometimes your agenda is unknown because you are still missing from you. Sometimes you don’t care.

Who knew?

Playing Cards

My poker face deceives the other team. I’m the only one playing the opposite team.

As a tyrant I must relent my hand to get along. A jack of all trades plays mind games that stain the fabric of the game.

I play my game against the weak.

I play hearts.

I selfishly play for keeps. Manipulation make me strong. Folding hands leave me weak.

How Deep?

Envisioned warmth emanates through my calcified memories.

Fossils of love leave concealed evidence around the misery of heart-shaped imagery.

Will I see the radiance of day?

Will my heart stay enclosed in an emotional days? 

In an instance my feelings jump outside the box.

Love is my landing.

Strip my heart.

Accept what’s deep.

The abyss.

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9 to 5

I hide behind my eyes. I’m secluded behind my 9 to 5.

Immersing myself in work, I remove my thoughts from what lies inside. This job isn’t my life yet it runs to sacrifice my time.

On time. I peak, Off-peak my family rests weary. They need me.  

I sleep so long to recover from the week. Even in the end I’m too busy to live my purpose.

I’m busy trying to catch up on sleep.

Cant chase hours if you miss them throughout the week.

You Are Missing

Your voice. Your life. Your lips. Your smile when I
havent felt your kiss. The pain, the agony, the strain.

My joy, my triumph, I speak in vain. This house, this home, across the
plains. I would walk across the sky to see you again.

You are missing from my picture. Frame my mind by setting your sun, shine across my pain.

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Naked

Naked as the day we were born, we hide.

Within the confines of lust, we sleepwalk in our lies.

Shade hides light,

and the truth closes eyes.

We clothed our minds to disguise the naked truth.

The under garments of lies.

To keep our sanctity we blamed our alibi on Eve.

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