Whose Fault

Whose fault? It’s my fault for giving into you freely. I gave sacred words reserved for love. I spent my last to make it last with you. You spent my presence as the present of your past. I relived their moments. My character was cast. 

I can’t blame you because I saw me. Too bad I was busy refining the person in front of me. I wanted to see you be all that I requested of me.

I lost me.

Escaping my dream, I wrapped up in pleasing the lust and passion. The lack of self-esteem. I entangled my heart to lose. 

I want to blame you but that would be pious of me. Blame lies with me.

My pride allows me to hide when you question me. Your voice of judgement cannot soothe me. I admit, I cannot point the finger when the hypocrite lies in me.  I realize I am the epitome when I care not what you think. 

When you met me you appreciated what you saw. Why did I change to become a man so lost? So long; ago I knew how a man should act. Now I lay in the ruins of what was. It’s not a nightmare, but it ain’t a daydream.

I want bitterness. I bite my lip, my mouth quivers. Tears fall from my face and I ask why? I didn’t evolve into me, I fell in love with you. Being myself wasn’t enough love for you.

I changed to fall in love with you.

I wanted to disprove the spell they left on you.

I lose.

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