Relations-Shift

Goodbye…

Before you sit down there is something I need to explain. We talk everyday, and still I remain on the same mental terrain.

I go through pain, frustration and blame. I cannot let go of you because I am comforted in your shame.

I’m no longer ashamed of what lay claim to the destruction of my sanity.

The reality is part from you is how I can sing my song. I’m tires of living inside the life devalued of love.

Today I claim my heart back. I slept with the enemy too long. I complained because you allowed me to replay my wrongs.

Hello fear, goodbye at the same time. I won’t be back I have a new love of my life. I am released from your crimes.

Im longer afraid of being alive.

Goodbye to the old me, no relapse of time.

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Relations-Shift

Guilty Innocence

I cannot believe you are not by my side. You chose to mask your facade behind the crowd.

You lied!

They heard your calling while I was reaching out for help.

You chose to reach out for self, and the self-hate that sounded like self-help.

The smile that was worth while is the detriment to the crooked eyes that cowl through your sinister smile.

I was the reason for your smile. Now the reason you smile is to mock my trials. The opinion of the court marks me guilty.

They didn’t need you, but you complimented me.

Am I guilty?

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Relations-Shift

Smile

I can’t win if its me versus me. That’s a fight to the death.

No win, lose or draw, yet I create a masterpiece of feelings.

I erase the peace when I release the toxic mixture of whats real to what feels.

The only win is knowing your heart has kept me alive.

Your love is a respirator of faith that gives me life.

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Relations-Shift

Dreamkiller

Sometimes I stop dreaming because the reality doesn’t exist. I haven’t seen what I haven’t done so what they say is what exists.

I hold what they want as my need. The clutch of selling out allows me to clear out space to leave reality.

I lose me as I live the fallacy of a cryptic reality. It’s encoded with illusions of collusion of light an darkness that paint the masterpiece of an unequal equilibrium.

The requiem that’s required to be an individual is lost, I’m no longer spiritual. The drive that moves me is purely emotional.

I can’t move if I’m too busy pushing you. The truth is I lost along time ago when I sold-out just to be “that” into you.

I thought it was love to give into you. I was wrong, after the dust settled you had grown, while I had become what was wrong. A man stagnate.

Throwing a fit of selfishness, searching himself for where it all went wrong.

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Relations-Shift

Go Home

When I go home I feel like less of a man. I go home because I have nowhere to rest.

I work all the time and go from house to house, but they are not my home.

I do not have a bed to call my own.

Yes, but I haven’t had rest in a long time. I know my work will pay off. I really want to have a place where I can lay my head and rest my heart.

I bring my family with me. The family is at home, yet im away all the time.

With me.

I want a place to call my own. To relax in solitude. One place where no one can enter but me. It’s coming soon.

Soon can’t come soon enough.

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Relations-Shift

Fighting My Life

Any day now I’ll get it right. I’ve put up a fight of a lifetime knocking out my dreams to fight the deprivation of night.

The work of a lifetime has led to a masterpiece of procrastination. I say I’m moving yet the violation is my inclination of appearing before a jury of my peers in the facade of light.

I rehearse the happy smiles that aren’t worth, while I cry inside.

Where did I go wrong?

I’m holding onto my life. Floating on the love others have for my beautiful mind.

You may say it’s alright, but have you had to tell your heart ‘we aren’t living right?’

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