Monthly Archives: May 2011

Do Men Understand Love?

“It’s a dangerous necessity. It’s a world-famous mystery. Love!”- U R The One by Mos Def

“What is a man’s definition of love?

Answering that question is a slippery slope for a number of reasons. In particular, those being: love is relative to each individual. Love has no definite definition, yet the way a man views love defines who he is to a woman.

Although you may find a number of men share the same sentiments, you must understand what love language your man speaks. There is a book to help you in that department.

As far as what a man’s definition of love is? Here’s my take on it…

My definition of love is quite simple. As a man I want make sure the woman I’m with is happy. A man cares about nothing else in the world. If she is happy, he’s happy. Now I don’t mean he sacrifices his happiness for her.

Far from it.

His happiness is tethered to his woman’s happiness. To see the smile on her face when he fulfills the joy of her heart’s desire is priceless beyond comparison. The only thing we, men, seek in return is appreciation.


That’s what shows a man love!

Show us you appreciate what we have done. And we are happy and content.

Too simple you say?

Not even!

Most women are too complex in figuring out how a man loves. We are not all the same. Quality communication is key to understanding how we operate.  Also, it isn’t up to a man to keep her completely happy all the time.

Honestly you shoot for 70-80% and weather the storm the rest of the way. If she is the woman she should be, she will understand it is almost impossible for a man to always make her happy.

We can’t win them all, yet we seek to learn how to appreciate with time.

As a man I am built to complement a woman.

If she understands this concept, she will be happy with his effort to make her happy. Because believe you me…he will try his damnedest to get her what she wants. If a man could move mountains or stop the world from spinning for his woman, he would!

Are there some other things involved in a man’s definition of love?

Perhaps, but they all fall under the umbrella of making his lady happy and feeling her reciprocal appreciation. A man’s role is to offer a home for his family and protect it.

Making sure the mortgage, car notes, utilities and other bills associated with his home operating smoothly is a man’s responsibility.

This helps validate our manhood.

That is the role that has been assigned to us by society. And we take that very serious!

At the end of the day a man lives to insure his lady’s happiness. That is being a husband, a man, a father, a lover, a protector and a provider. He fulfills these roles successfully when a woman reciprocates respect with appreciating the lengths he goes to, to provide that comfort.

The definition of love according to a man is simple.

It’s all love.


No Fool

I understand I have you on a pedestal.

I hold you that high because emotionally that is where I fell for you.

Eventually I will come down , yet I want to have that same breath of air.

You renew my spirit in what is different and new.

In reality I know you will change, because the infatuation I had was a mask to the genuine you.

I’m not asking you to be an angel.

Please don’t ever make me a fool.

Hidden Bliss

There is a clamor of noise inside my head.

Drowning in letters of doubt, prayers are lodged in my head.

I’m not hungry. I have my portion of daily bread.

The reality is the voices are inside and verbally I haven’t expressed what my emotions tried to hide.

Mental Strain

I’m not as strong as I pretend.

When fortunes change my faith becomes estranged.

What remains are lessons of pain, issue, and mental strain.

I never win when I relive unlearned lessons that repeat.


Struggle promotes progress, yet how do I love again?

I give my heart to reach the beat that keeps me from the snare.

Maybe the need for patience?


The Light

Love clears the air to give respiration to the love we speak.

Sounds of Love

I love you.

I adore you.

I appreciate you.

I value your voice.

You resonate with the sounds of life.

I hear God when you speak.


Fall to the fertile soil to pray.

Dig up your blessings.

Plant your prayers on a solid foundation.

Cry tears of compassion and love to water its progress.

Let God bear fruit for you in His season.

Imternal bleeding

Verbal jabs stain like stab wounds. Internal bleeding cannot be seen as visible scars. The stitches of what once was can cut deep. Sutures can speak through the pain of extracting old perilous facts.

That’s not the way love acts.

Love isn’t written in black and blue.

Facing the palette of nourishing words is where love’s heart is at.

Love is attached with heart-strings, moment of charity and beauty acts.

You never laid hands on her, yet you touched her deep.

Shallow scars are superficial yet they hurt from front to back.

You may never see who stabs you if you are consistently looking back.

Sustaining Winds

Our daily events place us into momentary solutions that  do not solve our everyday problems. Each week we are faced with the plan of praying through problems with the same prayer.

Our attitude toward God is “He automatically is supposed to clear room for exactly what we want.”

 We struggle from week to weak because we wait for a momentary event to happen!

We live in the illusion, “God I need your help, but I want it to happen on my time!”

The nonsense we breathe from society overtake’s our personal devotion to God. God has already decided exactly how everything is going to pan out, yet we follow our script.

As a daily reminder we must remember who gives us the sustenance to survive.  We cannot lean on the fat of life that gives momentary satisfaction.

Emotional high’s that lead to wicked mind numbing low’s.

Seek the everlasting bread of life that sustains the perpetual flow of Christ that is indwelling in your heart.

Wish Granted

We took love for granted until individual’s answered the call. Selfishness clawed, scratched, and lust broke our flaws. The consistency of an illusionary fall.

In our obsession of being (in) love we claimed the imagery of success. Insecurity stowed away in shame.

Past relationships, lost causes, and empty promises were towed ONE WAY.

We did, but we didn’t move together.

We were together in speech and separate in bad weather.